Speed Up Cydia for iPhone/iPod Touch

I LOIKE VCHEERSR YSPDU NIT UR BIR sa buxe sa nxsibKSA

If you can decode that message then send me an e-mail and you’ll win either a free poop cream or the beta to the ‘rumoured’ new layout for the iPod Touch only
*NOTE* iPhone may work but 3G and 3GS are totally disabled for the beta theme as only the coding for the iTouch was found, and the coding for the iTouch can easily be converted in an iPhone 1st gen code but bugs will appear and some features found in the original beta may be missing

!The beta theme consists of lockscreen accepting .gif images but for the beta, it’s been limited to a 10kb image.

!Images are now usable with the background but .gif’s do not work.

!6 icons are usable from the dock but it has been discovered that jailbroken apps are unmovable to those sections as the iPod will show an error displaying, ‘blank:39 unknown’ and it’ll force the app back into its original place.

!A whole new layout has been created but being a leak, the layout has bugs and lots of holes in it and unofficial repairs were made to make sure that the layout is at least workable via the beta.

!The file will take up 3.2GB of space.

!If you have SBSettings, it will be disabled because Apple have disabled the swiping motion at the top of the screen to prevent SBSettings from being used.

!Blackra1n will NOT detect your iPod Touch because the coding is changed. But this is not an attempt to block jailbreaking as the code in Blackra1n can easily be altered to detect the new beta theme.

!Only official apps will work. Applications such as Installous and Cydia will show up, but once executing the application, it will re-boot you back to your lockscreen.
This also applies to games that are downloaded outside of the App Store.

!Battery is consumed by 75%. I suggest that if you do use this theme, use it for looks only and when using it, connect your iPod to a charging source as this will drain the battery (the beta being a leak does not overwrite your previous layout, so all processes before you had installed the beta are still running and on top of the new beta with unofficial repairs and add-ons, this works every last bit of your iPod Touch.

!iTunes will say ‘Do you wish to download 4.01′ upon connecting but when clicking yes to download, it will only download version 3.1.3.

NOTE! THIS IS THE LiTE BETA. WE ARE NOT PREPARED TO OFFER THE OFFICIAL LEAKED BETA AS IT IS FAR TOO RISKY TO HANDLE.
The official beta consists of full iPod Touch coding and if installed improperly, you can semi-brick your iPod Touch into what we believe that will give you recovery mode every time you use the lock screen.
The official leaked beta contains many more features but we are keeping it quiet.

We will send you a definitive theme, which means that we’ll ask for your first half of your serial number, code it into out beta and send it to you for recognition.
If you are suspicious on why we’re doing this, it is because we don’t want our beta being leaked to everyone, seeing that these unofficial repairs may give huge speculation to the internet, and they’re not even by Apple.
We are trying our best to restrict it to one iPod Touch only because we would like some feedback on the repairs.

If you are the winner, we will send you a full list of our own repairs, to make sure that you don’t mistake them to Apple’s work.

Thank you.

/End troll. Trolling is so fun. I hope that you read the whole thing to make me dammit LAUGH!!!
Send me a message if you want. I have free cookies.